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Staying focused and positive is the key to attracting positive things and positive people into our life. Opening doors instead of closing them. I will share many things that can be of help to you. Enjoy!
Showing posts with label moving forward. Show all posts
Showing posts with label moving forward. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Body Image

Have you ever looked at yourself and liked what you saw?  Maybe yes or may no.  For many, you do  not like what they see in the mirror.  Either you feel that you are to fat, to skinny, your hair is not straight enough or curly enough and the list goes on.

Men and women alike go through this process.  However, I believe this affects primarily women.  Women are very sensitive and always making sure they looking right and looking tight.  The development of a negative body image is rooted in childhood, adds Mary Froning, Psy.D., a clinical psychologist practicing in Washington, D.C.

Our society focuses too much on the physical appearance.  Everywhere girls and women turn, ideals of beauty scream out at them from TV and magazines to the women chosen to be Miss America.  Little girls who grow up outside the "ideal" are often told so in so many words by other children and insensitive adults; a kind of emotional abuse that scars the psyche.  It is invisible to the outside world but indelibly etched in the mind of the receiver, says Dr. Froning. (Foley, Nechas 1993).

This rings true to so many women.  This all starts to spill over into every aspect of any relationship and with themselves.  Women become uncomfortable in their own skin.  Women begin to feel different about their bodies and want to start altering things.  If not a lipsuction, breast implants, breast reduction (for non-medical reasons), excessive dieting and even cosmetic surgery.

Building On The Positive

First Recognize what you think the problem is.  You did not become critical of yourself all on your own.  Look back at your childhood.  Take  notice of what you were being told when you were younger.  Example, you are to fat, you are to skinny you need to gain some weight, etc.

Make some improvements about yourself.  All of course within reason,  example, if you feel that you are overweight or just want to lose a few pounds, then take the necessary steps.  Be mindful that you just want to lose weight so that you can feel better about yourself, improve your health and do not over do it.  Do not become obessive about dieting and working out at the gym.  Some women become so obsessed about losing the weight and keeping it off that they develop serious medical issues such as bulimia or anorexia nervosa.  Be careful and mindful.

Change negative thoughts into positive thoughts.  Many times there are parts of your body that you may not be happy with.  So for example, if you say to yourself that you have small breast, then change that to my breast are just the right size for me.  The same goes for any other body parts. 

Recognize that beauty comes from within. Begin to focus on yourself from the inside.  Identify what you like the most about yourself and build on that instead of the negative.  Believe that you are beautiful and have good qualities.  Feeling beautiful is one thing, believing it is something else.  Begin to change those negative thoughts into positive ones.  Begin to believe that you are worthy, beautiful and the only thing that matters is how you see youself.  It does not matter what anyone else thinks.  You have to live with you and therefore, you must feel comfortable in your own skin.

Do Not Compare Yourself With Others.  It is important to acknowledge and realize that you are who you are and you were made that way for a reason.  However, childhood trauma whether physical, emotional or sexual abuse plays a huge part about how you feel about yourself.  You may feel worthless, have low self-esteem, etc.  That is what you were taught to believe.  In other words, that is learned behavior.  Other situations such as the abuse, is not your fault.  The abuser was reflecting their anger and their pain on you.  So it was not you that was ugly, angry or feeling worthless.

Resources

Adult Health: Low Self-Esteem

Top Ten Facts about Low Self-Esteem

10 Steps for Transforming Negative Thoughts into Positive Beliefs


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                                              The Truth About Negative Energy




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Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Forgiveness and Freedom

Many times in your life you have experienced some pain or hurt by friends or loved ones.  It is difficult to forgive someone who has hurt you especially if it is a family member or significant other.  Forgiveness is important to your life and your well being.

You must understand that in forgiving someone else you free yourself.  Forgiveness allows the resentment that is stored within you to dissolve.  You must fully feel and acknowledge all that blocks you.  Don't forgive someone because you think it is the right thing to do.  Don't forgive someone just from words, but truly and honestly feel it deep down from the heart.  When you forgive it should be real, honest and ready to let it go.  Once you truly forgive, you will set yourself free and let go of the past and put it behind you.

When you hold anger in your mind, your unconscious does not know for whom that feeling is meant, it only knows that it is a container for resentment.  To forgive is to let go and release your own mind from being caught in the cycle of going over and over the hurt.  You are not forgiving for the good of the other person.  You are forgiving for the good of yourself so that you can be free and move on.  Forgiveness is a gift, a state of grace that benefits the giver as much as or more than the receiver.  If you are willing to heal fully, you will need to forgive fully.

Forgiveness and letting go are steps on your road back to health and happiness.  Without it you will never be free from your past.  You will be held hostage to your past unless you are willing to release and grow beyond them.  Only you can ultimately free yourself.  No one can do this for you but you.